THUNDER AND ROSES SCREAM SCENE CONTEST ROUND 3 WINNER!

AND THE WINNER IS....
"Willowbrook"

ROUND 3 PHOTO:

READER COMMENTS:

= Preferred Read

"Willowbrook" "The Kill Hammer"

READER #1 "I liked the 'Willowbrook' story because it was easy to read." "It was hard to read. I had problems following it."

READER #2 "'Willowbrook' started out grabbing your attention. Nice twist at the end." "Too much descriptive wording without telling the story. Would be great for how-to book."

READER #3 "Seems eerier than the other story. The style and set up here were more interesting to me." "The narrative in 'Kill Hammer' is awesome!"

READER #4 "Both stories were scary, but I liked 'Willowbrook' better. The author created scenes I was able to imagine. I couldn't put it down; I had to find out what happened!!! However, I was left wondering if Kaycee was dreaming or in a psychotic state...spooky!" "'The Kill Hammer' had excellent descriptions and I was very curious to find out why the ground was wet and the building unscathed by the local teenagers. However, I just didn't find digesting soil as scary as an old psychiatric ward with cages and chains."

READER #5 "I was somewhat confused by the changing events and shifting locations." "Easy to follow. Imagery was simple and effective. Slaughterhouse was pretty creepy."

READER #6 "Very depressing! Just didn't get into it. The first paragraph was the best part of the story! Then it moved too quickly. I was set up for more depth after first paragraph." "Great descriptive 'pictures' and suspense! Who described Greg's story? Wasn't he alone? Seemed to set up a nice story that ended...abruptly."

READER #7 "I loved the overall story. It was a great idea. The author developed the story well. The descriptions were very descriptive. Although the overall story was well developed, the ending wasn't. I still don't get it. Some more elaboration up to the sudden ending would have been a lot more satisfying." "I thought it was pretty good. I like the way the author described the house and the way that the house 'reacted' to his intrusion. The use of adjectives to describe things is remarkable. I don't like the way the author had problems leading the reader from scene to scene."

READER #8 "If I saw 'Willowbrook' on a shelf, I would imagine a hospital with lightning on the cover. I'd probably be interested and check it out. There wasn't too much detail or dialogue--the balance was great. The story flowed very well and left me wanting more. It has an interesting twist at the end. I can't say there was anything I disliked." "I feel as if the author is trying to overcompensate for the poor storyline and bad ending with detail. The author put too much time into adjectives. Why is Greg there to begin with? What does he need a picture of? Summary--Guy with camera gets knocked upside the head with a hammer...I definitely pick 'Willowbrook.'"

READER #9 "I would choose 'Willowbrook.' I am curious to know what happens to Kaycee in the Asylum. I wonder if her experience in Willowbrook, regardless of whether she was dreaming or awake, is what put her in Willowbrook in reality. Is she still asleep at the end of the story? Is she awake? This story intrigues my curiosity. It makes one wonder about the nature of her experience and about her background." "'The Kill Hammer' was a good story, especially with the death of Greg at the end. The quick death at the end was surprising. It was so sudden. I like the pace of the story. It was nice, slow, and eerie."

READER #10 "Good idea for a story but all over the place in the writing. Needs to flesh the story out more--the who and why, especially the who. The author introduces characters without telling anything about them. Needs to be set up better. Not very believable even for paranormal." "Well-written. Needed a little more background on characters. Good concept. Everybody likes a slaughterhouse. Hopefully Greg is not the main character since he's dead. Would be a good read if expanded."

	"Willowbrook"	"The Kill Hammer"
READER #1	"I liked the 'Willowbrook' story because it was easy to read."	"It was hard to read. I had problems following it."
READER #2	"'Willowbrook' started out grabbing your attention. Nice twist at the end."	"Too much descriptive wording without telling the story. Would be great for how-to book."
READER #3	"Seems eerier than the other story. The style and set up here were more interesting to me."	"The narrative in 'Kill Hammer' is awesome!"
READER #4	"Both stories were scary, but I liked 'Willowbrook' better. The author created scenes I was able to imagine. I couldn't put it down; I had to find out what happened!!! However, I was left wondering if Kaycee was dreaming or in a psychotic state...spooky!"	"'The Kill Hammer' had excellent descriptions and I was very curious to find out why the ground was wet and the building unscathed by the local teenagers. However, I just didn't find digesting soil as scary as an old psychiatric ward with cages and chains."
READER #5	"I was somewhat confused by the changing events and shifting locations."	"Easy to follow. Imagery was simple and effective. Slaughterhouse was pretty creepy."
READER #6	"Very depressing! Just didn't get into it. The first paragraph was the best part of the story! Then it moved too quickly. I was set up for more depth after first paragraph."	"Great descriptive 'pictures' and suspense! Who described Greg's story? Wasn't he alone? Seemed to set up a nice story that ended...abruptly."
READER #7	"I loved the overall story. It was a great idea. The author developed the story well. The descriptions were very descriptive. Although the overall story was well developed, the ending wasn't. I still don't get it. Some more elaboration up to the sudden ending would have been a lot more satisfying."	"I thought it was pretty good. I like the way the author described the house and the way that the house 'reacted' to his intrusion. The use of adjectives to describe things is remarkable. I don't like the way the author had problems leading the reader from scene to scene."
READER #8	"If I saw 'Willowbrook' on a shelf, I would imagine a hospital with lightning on the cover. I'd probably be interested and check it out. There wasn't too much detail or dialogue--the balance was great. The story flowed very well and left me wanting more. It has an interesting twist at the end. I can't say there was anything I disliked."	"I feel as if the author is trying to overcompensate for the poor storyline and bad ending with detail. The author put too much time into adjectives. Why is Greg there to begin with? What does he need a picture of? Summary--Guy with camera gets knocked upside the head with a hammer...I definitely pick 'Willowbrook.'"
READER #9	"I would choose 'Willowbrook.' I am curious to know what happens to Kaycee in the Asylum. I wonder if her experience in Willowbrook, regardless of whether she was dreaming or awake, is what put her in Willowbrook in reality. Is she still asleep at the end of the story? Is she awake? This story intrigues my curiosity. It makes one wonder about the nature of her experience and about her background."	"'The Kill Hammer' was a good story, especially with the death of Greg at the end. The quick death at the end was surprising. It was so sudden. I like the pace of the story. It was nice, slow, and eerie."
READER #10	"Good idea for a story but all over the place in the writing. Needs to flesh the story out more--the who and why, especially the who. The author introduces characters without telling anything about them. Needs to be set up better. Not very believable even for paranormal."	"Well-written. Needed a little more background on characters. Good concept. Everybody likes a slaughterhouse. Hopefully Greg is not the main character since he's dead. Would be a good read if expanded."